Life Is Full Of Surprises
by Irish Rose1
Summary: BACKDRAFT Helen McCaffrey gets the surprise of her life.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Backdraft is not mine. It belongs to Universal and Ron Howard.

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Helen McCaffrey stood at the window of her suburban Chicago home and watched the last of the cars drive away. 

The one thing that she had been most afraid of when she'd married Stephen had come to pass. He had died as he had fought a fire and as alone as she had sometimes felt when they'd been together, now she really was. 

She'd loved Stephen with all of her heart and not even a legal separation that she had initiated could have changed that. 

Before they were even married, she knew how much he loved being a firefighter and it was the one thing that had made her hesitate when he had proposed. She didn't know if she wanted to go through her married life with the daily fear that she might become a widow. But she had accepted his proposal because she loved him and wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of her life with him. How long or short it would be she didn't allow herself to think about it.

After Sean had come along, she didn't have as much time to worry because she had a newborn to take care of. Stephen adored him and he had been a wonderful father. It surprised Helen at first that he helped her as much as he did, but it filled her heart with such gladness that he was so attentive.

But somewhere along the line, she never did figure out exactly when or why, Stephen started to take chances. He knew the risks of not being properly outfitted for going into a fire, but he had begun to ignore them.

She had had more than one conversation with John Adcox, Axe as he was known to the Fighting 17th, about what Stephen was doing. Or rather what he was not.

But John was gone now too. He had died in that same fire that had taken Stephen.

She sighed as she turned around and looked at her living room. It was littered with empty plates and half empty coffee cups from friends and family who had come back to the house after the funeral. She had sent Sean home with her parents because she needed some time to herself and he needed the distraction. He hadn't said much after she'd received a phone call from Stephen's brother Brian and she had gone to the hospital. He had told her that the paramedics revived him once after his heart had stopped in the ambulance and had gotten him to the hospital. 

She remembered how she had called her parents to come stay with Sean. She didn't know what kind of shape Stephen would be in and she didn't want their son to see him.

When she had arrived at the emergency room of the Edgewater Medical Center, she saw the men from the 17th all there. They waited in groups and sipped on coffee, frowns on all of their faces. She felt a chill come over her because she knew it wasn't good.

Brian had met her at the nurse's station and took her hands. "It's not good Helen."

"Was he burned badly?" She could barely get out a whisper.

A tear had rolled down his cheek. "He wasn't burned. A catwalk he was on gave way and he landed on a piece of broken railing below him."

"Is it really bad?" She had taken a deep breath as she felt the tears gather.

"You should go see him." Was all he had told her and deep down she knew it would probably be the last time she would have the chance. He took her hand and walked her down to the room where Stephen was. 

She looked up at him. "Is he in pain?" 

Brian shook his head. "He's pretty doped up so he's not feeling much of anything." And he had let go of her hand.

Helen stepped into the small room and saw Stephen flat on his back and his eyes were closed. He had been hooked up to all sorts of machinery and she could see a monitor that showed his heart and pulse rate. 

She walked over to the bed and took his hand. "Stephen, its Helen. Please open your eyes." She said quietly.

She glanced up at the monitor because the beep that indicated his heart rate accelerated; he knew she was there.

"Stephen, please." She pleaded with him. 

It seemed to take a super human effort and Helen knew that the morphine must have been strong, but he eventually opened his eyes. The look in them was one of love and happiness that she was there. "It must be pretty bad if you're here." 

"I seem to remember a scene like this after I'd had Sean and _I_ was the one here." 

"I was never so scared in my life." Stephen remembered, his voice husky. "I thought I was going to lose you."

Helen nodded. "I know. But I was never worried about Sean because I knew you'd take good care of him."

"Dad did it with _us_." He said matter of factly.

"Yes he did."

Tears began to roll out of the corners of his eyes. "I really miss him."

"I know you do Stephen." She said and sat down on the edge of the bed next to him, his hand still in hers.

"I don't want to do that to Sean. I don't want to leave him."

__

He knew he was dying. Helen realized that and she couldn't stop the tears that finally came. "Then don't. You love being Sean's father."

"I love you too Helen, but I'm so tired." He sighed.

__

She had run out of time. With his hand in hers she leaned over so he would be sure to hear her. "I love you Stephen, I always have."

He squeezed her hand. "I'm sorry for putting you through all that bullshit."

"I know you are and it's all right."

He took a deep breath and sighed again. "Tell Sean that I love him and that I didn't want to leave him or you."

"I'll tell him." She promised before she leaned over and kissed him. 

She didn't know where he found the strength to kiss her back and she suddenly had this overwhelming urge to curl up next to him. 

He had seemed to read her thoughts and when she'd broken the kiss asked her to stay. "I've really missed you."

"I've missed you too." She admitted and as carefully as she could, curled up next to him on the bed. 

She was brought up short from her reverie by a knock on the front door. She walked over to answer it and Brian was there, still in his dress uniform. "I'm sorry I had to leave, but I had a job to do for the Department."

"Being a firefighter is in your blood Brian, just like your brother." She smiled and invited him inside.


	2. Miracles

She had suspected it for a few weeks, but it wasn't until she sat in her doctor's office that she got the news. 

Helen was pregnant and the realization of it left her with a myriad of emotions. Happiness was the greatest of them because after she'd had Sean, she had been told that she wouldn't be able to have any more children and she and Stephen had been devastated.

Sadness was another emotion because the new baby would never get to know his or her father, as Sean had been able to do. 

As she sat and tried to absorb the news, she knew exactly when it had happened. Stephen had shown up at the house a few days before he died very upset and when she had tried to console him, they had ended up making love. It never occurred to her that she could get pregnant, because as often as they had made love before they separated she had never conceived.

Her final emotion was worry. How was she going to do this? At least with Sean, Stephen had been around to help her but now she was one her own. 

"Helen, are you all right?" Her doctor asked.

"Surprised." She admitted.

"There _are_ options to consider if you aren't sure about this." He told her.

__

Options?

"It's not a matter of _if_ I'm going to do this, but _how_. I had my husband to help me with our son and he's gone now."

He cleared his throat. "I thought you and your husband were separated."

"We were. But that didn't mean he didn't help me as much as he could." Was all she told him.

He cleared his throat again. "Would it be indelicate of me to ask who the father is?"

"Stephen."

He nodded. "Do you have any family to help you?"

"My parents are close by and Stephen's fire company is helping us." She smiled.

"Well in that case I'll tell you that you're in excellent health and the pregnancy is progressing, as it should be. I'll have the nurse schedule another appointment for next month and we'll see how you're both doing." And he stood up. 

Helen stood up and smiled. "Thank you Doctor." And he escorted her out of the office.

When she got home Brian was there and he waited for her on the front stoop. "So what's the verdict?"

"What are you talking about?" 

He stood up and walked toward her. "I came by earlier to see how you were doing and your mom said you had a doctor's appointment."

"What's your point Brian?"_ Could he know?_

"Helen, you're the healthiest girl I know. There's only one reason you would have to go see a doctor." He smiled at her. 

"I'd really rather not talk about this right now." She frowned at him and had the sudden urge to cry as she unlocked the front door and went inside. 

Brian followed her in. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you ."

She sat down on the sofa and sighed. "Stephen's the father." She felt the need to tell him. "And I was thinking what would I have done if he hadn't died. We separated because I didn't like the chances he was taking and I had to think about Sean. What if he _had _survived? What would we have done?"

Brian sat down next to her and took her hand. "Are you thinking about not having it?"

"Of course not. I just can't help but wonder what we would have done as a family."

"He loved you Helen."

She nodded. "I know he did Brian and in spite of everything, I loved him too. But he was risking his life in a way that he never had before and that terrified me. I don't think our having another baby would have changed that."

"I wasn't around much when Sean was little but I'll be around for this one, I promise."

"I appreciate that. But in the meantime, I need to tell Sean."

"When's he getting home?"

"Dad got tickets to a Bears game, so he wanted to take him." She smiled. "Stephen always wanted to take him to a Bull's game, but they were never here when he had time off."

"I can do that if you want me to." Brian offered.

Helen shook her head. "It wouldn't be the same. It was something special that he always wanted to do with Sean."

"You know I'll always be here if you need me." And he stood up.

She stood up next to him and smiled. "Thank you Brian. Sean needs to get to know you."

Helen walked him to the door and he kissed her cheek before he stepped outside. "It's going to be all right."

All she could manage was a nod before she waved goodbye and closed the door behind him.

"So we finally did it." A familiar voice asked softly.

She didn't know how, but Stephen was there. He wore the same shirt and jeans that he'd worn the night he showed up so unexpectedly at the house.

She stood in absolute confusion. "How?"

"Because you're worried about this new baby and you shouldn't be. Dad didn't have his folks to help him with us, but you've got yours."

"Why now?"

"I don't know, but what is it that you always tell Sean? Everything happens for a reason." 

"What would we have done?"

"We would have done the best we could, the same way we tried with Sean."

"What about us?" 

He seemed to understand. "You couldn't live with the way I did things any more and I don't know that I could have changed."

"Not even with a new baby?" She frowned.

"That's something we'll never know, will we?" He sighed. "I couldn't do it for Sean and I don't know that I could have done it for the baby either."

"Well at least you're honest about it."

He sighed again. "I was always honest with you about how I did my job."

"And family be damned." She felt her anger rise and even though she grieved for him, remembered why she filed for the separation.

"You knew what you were getting into when you married me Helen." He reasoned with her.

"I thought I did and that isn't your fault." She conceded.

"Just take care of yourself and Sean and the baby." Stephen asked her before he turned toward the kitchen.

"Sean misses you." She said so he would stop.

He did and turned back around. "I miss him too."

"He's having a hard time understanding all of it." She could feel her eyes sting with tears.

She didn't know how, but she was suddenly in his arms and he held her close. "Just be the mother to him that you've always been."

Helen nodded and when she began to cry, she heard him sigh. "I always hated it when you did that."

"I know. You never did know how to handle it when I did." 

He loosened his hold on her. "I've got to go Helen, I just wanted to check on you ."

She stepped away and tried to smile. "If we have another boy, I'll never forgive you."

"Will you forgive me if they go into the family business?" He was serious.

Helen sighed. "If it's what they want to do, I won't be able to stop them."

"If they're anything like you, you're probably right." He smiled.

"Sean doesn't get that stubborn streak from _me_ Stephen." She smiled back.

"He gets it from both of us and the baby probably will too. Goodbye Helen." He leaned over and kissed her before he headed into the kitchen before the door swung closed behind him.

Helen rushed after him but when she pushed open the door, he wasn't there. She stood there for a moment before she shook her head. "It's just like you to leave before we've finished a discussion, Stephen."

"Because I could never win." She heard his voice tell her.

"That's true." She answered him with a smile before she turned around and walked out of the kitchen.


	3. Helen Breaks The News

She didn't know exactly what she was going to tell him.

She told Stephen the morning after they'd made love that she didn't want to confuse Sean about what happened between them, but the fact the she was going to have another baby would surely confuse her young son. There was nothing that he'd wanted more than to have her and Stephen back together and he surely would have expected it if his father were alive.

But Stephen was gone and Helen didn't have an idea of what she was going to do without his help.

It was one Sunday not long after the doctor told her she was pregnant that Helen took Sean to the cemetery. The weekly visits seemed to help him deal with Stephen being gone and help him come to terms with the fact that he wasn't coming back. It was on their way there that she decided it was the place to tell her son because they would be close to his father.

They reached Stephen's marker and after giving Sean time to talk to him and tell him how school was going, he lay the flowers in front of the marker and sighed.

"I miss him, Mom." Sean told her as he took her hand.

"I know you do honey." She let out a sigh of her own before she turned Sean around to face her. "But Dad left us something before he went to Heaven."

The look on his face was one of curiosity and apprehension. "What is it?"

__

Just get to the point Helen. "Do you remember when Dad stayed at the house and you were going to make me breakfast in bed?"

He nodded.

This was going to be harder than she thought. "And you know what Dad and I told you about how babies are made?"

Sean nodded again.

"Well, we're going to give you a little brother or sister in a few months."

She wasn't sure if he fully understood what she was trying to say because he didn't say anything for a moment. "Is it a boy or girl?"

Helen smiled. "I don't know that yet Sean. What would you like it to be?"

"Can I have a brother?" He asked her hesitantly.

"I'll see what I can do, but I won't make any promises." She answered.

"Okay." He seemed content with the answer and turned to walk toward the car.

"Sean, aren't you forgetting something?"

He stopped and returned to where his mother stood. "Oh yeah. Bye Dad, see you next week." And he turned back around and walked to the car.

She smiled at the marker before she picked up the flowers and put them in the receptacle in front of it and arranged the blooms as best she could. "He's your son." And after she was satisfied with the way they looked, she followed Sean to the car.

*~*~*~*~*

She had sent Sean upstairs to finish his homework that he needed to turn in the following morning.

Her parents had left and Brian was helping her in the kitchen with the last of the dishes. Neither said much, but it was a companionable silence. 

"So how did he take it?" Brian finally asked. "You said you were going to tell him when you took him to see Stephen."

Helen shrugged her shoulders. "About as well as a six year old takes these things I guess. His only question was if he could have a brother."

"What do _you _want?" He smiled at her and put the last plate into the dishwasher.

"I hadn't really had the chance to think about it. But when Sean told me he wanted a brother, I couldn't help but think that I'd like to have a girl. If it were a girl, she couldn't end up like her father. Of course it's all nonsense because she could be a firefighter if she wanted to."

"That's true."

"What about you? Would you like another nephew or would you prefer a niece?" She asked him as she put soap in the dispenser and closed the dishwasher door before she began the cycle.

"It doesn't really matter to me Helen. As long as it's healthy, that's all that really matters."

Helen seemed surprised by his answer. "That's not an answer I would have expected from you."

He looked at her with a serious expression on his face. "It really _doesn't_ matter. This is the last kid that Stephen's going to have and the last nephew or only niece _I'm_ going to have. So what ever it is is all right by me."

Helen shook her head and smiled. "I could never figure you out Brian. Stephen was complicated, but was pretty much an open book as far as what he wanted and I never had any trouble figuring him out."

That made him laugh. "Well, I'm not going anywhere and after I've put in the kind of career Stephen did with the 17th, maybe I'll be easier to figure out."

"Maybe." She commented as she walked to the kitchen door. Brian followed her out and they walked into the living room where he found his jacket and put it on. 

"If you're interested, there's going to be a small ceremony at the firehouse next Saturday. The guys decided to re-christen Engine 17 in honor of Stephen because he loved that fire wagon so much. I was asked if you and Sean would like to come."

She nodded. "Of course we'll be there. Thank you for thinking of us."

"I didn't know if it was such a good idea because I know the love-hate relationship you have with the job of being a firefighter. But I didn't want to speak for you."

She touched his arm. "You're right about my love-hate relationship, but it's what Sean's father did and what he loved so much. I always want him to understand that."

Brian smiled and walked to the front door. "You're one in a million Helen. Would you like me to come pick you two up or do you just want to meet everyone there."

"I'll drive over."

"We'll be starting things about 9:30 Saturday morning and barring any sudden emergencies, it shouldn't take longer that a half-hour."

"We'll be there." She smiled at him.

"Great. I'll tell the guys to expect you and Sean." And he opened the door and stepped out onto the porch. "Thanks for a great dinner Helen."

"Goodnight Brian."

"I'll see you on Saturday." And he walked into the dark and toward his car.

Helen closed the door behind him and turned off the porch light before she headed upstairs. 


	4. Epilogue: Mary Elizabeth McCaffrey

__

Epilogue: 

Helen McCaffrey stood at the window of her suburban Chicago home and watched the last of the cars drive away. 

It was with a sense of deja vu that she watched them because the last time there was a gathering of Stephen's friends and their family at the house was after his funeral. It had been a cold, foggy and damp fall day and at the time seemed a fitting to say goodbye to him.

But this late fall day was sunny and warm and her new daughter had been baptized that morning in the same church where she and Stephen were married and he was buried from. It was the same church where Sean had also been baptized and would soon receive his First Holy Communion.

She asked Brian to be her godfather and named her for Stephen and Brian's mother, Mary Elizabeth McCaffrey. Brian was hesitant to accept because he told Helen that he hadn't stepped foot in a church since Stephen's funeral and he wasn't exactly the best example for his baby niece to follow. 

She trumped him though when she said that it was something that Stephen would have wanted. Brian wasn't too sure about that and told her so, so she asked him to do it for her. That he couldn't refuse and he ultimately agreed.

Helen turned from the window and began to pickup the cups and plates. She carried them out to the kitchen and stacked them in the sink before she walked back out to the living room. She met Brian as he came downstairs with his niece in his arms.

"You're getting really good at that." She smiled at him.

"She looks just like Stephen." He commented to her. "She has those same blue eyes that he did."

Helen leaned in to look at her daughter and nodded. "She's got his hair too, I think. It's a little too thin to tell just yet."

Brian laughed. "Did you see the guys from the 17th when they got a look at her? I've never seen so many stupid faces on a bunch of grown men."

Helen smiled in return. "They told me that they had christened Mary as their good luck charm."

"And I know why because it's the weirdest thing. Ever since you and Sean came to the 17th to have Stephen's engine dedicated to him, we haven't had one of our guy's die."

She was more than a little skeptical. "And they think it's because of Mary? I think that's a bit of a stretch Brian."

"I don't know Helen. Firefighters are a superstitious bunch and if they believe it's because of her I wouldn't argue with them."

"And do they honestly think that she's going to keep them all safe?"

Brain shrugged his shoulders. "That's something you'd have to ask them. I'm not the superstitious type."

She put her hands on her hips. "So according to them, my daughter was keeping them safe even before she was born?"

"That's about it." And he turned his attention to his niece who seemed to be grabbing at his chest. "Uh, Helen I don't think this is something I can take care of."

"You really are getting good at this." She laughed because he had rightly guessed that it was time for Mary's afternoon feeding. "Have a seat Brian because you're going to feed your niece."

The look on his face was priceless. "I don't exactly have the equipment to do that."

"That's why bottles were invented Uncle Brian. I keep some milk in the refrigerator for occasions like this. I did it for Stephen so he could feed Sean and I'm doing it for you so you can feed Mary." And she walked out to the kitchen just as her daughter started to cry.

"Helen." The panicked voice of Brian came through the door.

"Just walk her around until I get the bottle heated." She smiled to herself because he sounded just like Stephen.

"He'll get the hang of it." The voice of Mary's father startled her so much that she nearly dropped the bottle. "It'll be good practice for him when he has kids of his own."

Helen turned to see Stephen standing in front of the sink and he was wearing his Sunday suit. "Were you there?"

"Of course I was. You didn't think I was going to miss my daughter's baptism did you?" He told her quietly. "She's a beauty Helen; she looks just like you."

She looked at him in disbelief. "I don't know what baby you were looking at Stephen McCaffrey, but she looks just like you and she's probably going to be just as stubborn."

He laughed softly. "For your sake, I hope not."

"I haven't seen you since I found out that we were going to have another baby. Why now?" She was curious.

"Because I asked and because this is the last time I can come. It's time for me to move on Helen and go be with Mom and Dad. The way it was explained to me was that with you having my baby and being so worried about that, I needed to stay. But now that she's here and Brian is her godfather I can leave."

"She's a good baby Stephen. I just wish you could have gotten to watch her grow up."

"I know Helen, me too. But I _will_ watch her from wherever it is I end up. I was told that Mom was really touched that you named Mary after her. Thank you." 

"I always liked your Mom. She could never quiet figure out what it was that I saw in you." She joked. "She always said that you were much too serious and I needed someone who could laugh."

He nodded. "She was right and if she hadn't died right after graduation, I might have been able to do that."

She checked the bottle and it was almost ready. "She'd be proud of the way you finished raising Brian; you're Dad too. I know it was hard on you, but I also know that you would have walked through a burning building without your turnout coat on than let anyone take Brian away from you."

"You always understood that."

"It's because I loved you."

"I know that and if I hadn't been such an ass, I might have been able to let you know that." He sighed.

The bottle was ready and Helen started out to the living room with it before she turned around. "Don't go anywhere. If this really is your last time, I want to say goodbye."

"I'll be here." He promised before she turned back around and walked into the living room. She found Brian standing at the window with his niece still in his arms and he was talking to her.

"Brian." She said quietly. "Here's her bottle." And she handed it to him.

"Thanks." He smiled at her and put the bottle in the baby's mouth. She took it right away and Helen put a hand on his shoulder.

"While you feed her, I'm going to clean up the kitchen."

"Don't worry about us, we're fine." Brian assured her and Helen headed back to the kitchen.

As he promised, Stephen was still there. "I've got to shove off Helen."

"Please tell your parents that I said hello and that I think of them." She requested. 

"I'll do that."

"Take care of yourself." She said needlessly.

He smiled at her. "I don't need to worry about that anymore, remember?"

"How would you like to hold your daughter before you go?" Brian was there in the doorway. "I thought I was hearing things and decided to come see for myself."

"You can see him?" Helen asked.

"As plain as I see you." He told her before he turned to Stephen. "I dreamed about you the other night."

Stephen smiled. "That wasn't a dream little brother, I was there. I wanted to look in on you and see how you were doing, but I wasn't able to see you the way Helen could."

"Then why now?"

"The hell if I know." And he waited as Brian brought the baby over to him. He looked at Helen a little uncertainly. "I don't think I remember how."

"Of course you do." She reassured him. 

Brian handed the baby to him and the look on Stephen's face was one that Helen would never forget. It was a mix of happiness and pride, with a lot of sadness tossed in because he knew this would be the only chance that he would get to hold his daughter. He began to rock her and then he smiled. "All right Mary Elizabeth McCaffrey, this is your father talking here. I want you to be good for your mother and don't be a pain in the ass like I was. She's a good woman and she deserved better than me, but for some reason she loved me. Even when things were bad she loved me. So I want you to love her back and know how much I love you too." And he leaned over to kiss her forehead before he handed the baby back to Brian. "Thanks man, I really appreciate that."

Brian stuck his hand out and Stephen took it and Helen could see that the old animosities were gone. Brian had explained to her months before that he and Stephen had made their peace on the way to the hospital and she was finally able to see it for herself. 

"I'm going to take Mary upstairs and finish feeding her. Say hi to Mom and Dad when you get there." And he walked out of the kitchen.

"He's going to be okay." Stephen seemed to say it more to himself than to Helen.

"Well now that you've had the chance to hold your daughter, are you?" She asked.

"Yeah. Now I can go, knowing that I got a chance to hold her and tell Mom and Dad about it." He seemed to be fading out before he faded back in.

It was time for him to go and Helen knew he wanted to ask her something, but couldn't gather up the nerve. So on pure instinct as to what he wanted she walked over to him and put her arms around his neck. He put his arms around her waist and held her close and she knew she'd been right. She didn't know how long they stood there before she felt his grasp loosen. Helen thought he was going to let her go, but he leaned over and kissed her. It was like the kisses from when they were first married and it made her heart stop for a moment. 

"I just didn't want you to think I'd forgotten about those days." He told her after he broke the contact. "If I'd cared more about how those made me feel and less about being a firefighter, things might have turned out different."

"Or maybe not. You can't beat yourself up over what can't be changed. You've made your peace with Brian and you've made your peace with me. We have a beautiful little girl that I'm going to raise the best I can and she'll know who you were, so please don't worry about that."

"We really have made our peace." It came out as a statement, not as a question.

"Yes."

"Then it's all right for me to go?"

She nodded. "It's all right now Stephen."

"I'd like to look in on Mary one last time if that's all right."

Helen smiled at him. "Of course it is. Go say good bye to your daughter."

He leaned over and kissed her. "I love you Helen." And he walked out of the kitchen and headed up the stairs.

She followed him out and stood at the foot of the stairs. "I love you too Stephen."

He turned for a moment and smiled at her and when he continued up the stairs, he disappeared.

She told him the truth when she said they'd made their peace because her world seemed to finish righting itself as she watched her husband disappear. 

Life really was full of surprises and she got a good one.


End file.
